The lady called and to my surprise, her voice, peacefull. Three years ago, with her husband and only son gone, she was on the brink of suicide, to boot she lost her job at around the same time.
I do not remember how I consoled her or any of my words had any effect on her.
On such occasions the only advise is to pray.
I dont believe in God, even if he is there look what he has done to me, this was her response.
Every body has to live through their life and what each one of us encounter is different. Everybody gets programmed to react differently. It is difficult to tell people how to react in a particular situation. Dont cry, be courageous, face it, blah blah.. yah thats our job to say, I am not sure how we would have handled ourselves in similar situations.
I would prefer people to cry and grieve until the intensity of the sorrow reduces.
When I asked, ” how are you “
She said ” You should ask how are you feeling, never mind how good you are, what is important is how you are feeling, you may be fine and not feel happy, whats the point. There are people with all the comfort and depressed”
I said ” Wow, thats a great statement you made, let me improve my question, how are your feeling ?”
” Haha thats the way , I am feeling great” her voice became cheerful and happy.
“Please keep talking, I can sense a transformation in you, tell me about the magic”, I said.
“You remember the time when everything was lost for me. I cried and cried till I ran out of tears and then I moved around like a Zombie, uninterested in every thing.
One day a gypsy stopped at the gate and told me, Amma, your tragedy days is coming to an end, lost your kutumba ( family), no ? Life has to be lived, you will find karana (reason), don’t worry. Shall I tell you more ? I said no and walked in to my house and the gypsy went away. Her words kept echoing in my mind or head, I dont know where. At the same time I kept telling myself what the hell with my two loved ones gone, whats left.
Slowly it started working, I have to find a reason to live or let me decide to do something, forget the reason. A notice inserted in the newspaper about a yoga class caught my eye. What about enrolling, I thought without any enthusiasm. Let me not look for a reason, let us join this and let the reason follow. There was the yoga and Pranayam ( breathing exercises), I joined, went for 10 days and discontinued, stopped.
I saw my neighbour having an asthama attack and struggling to breathe. It made me think, if there is no breath, you are not there.
Birth, life, death is all about start and end of breathing.
We can survive without food, water for sometime, how long without breath, very very short time.
I would sit quietly and start observing my breath.
It was different for different emotions, you breathe heavily when you are angry, anxiety was different, fear had a different frequency and so on. Later I saw it wasnt my discovery, it was already written in many books.
Inhale slowly and exhale slowly a few times, it made me calmer, thats what I had learnt in my Yoga class, though never applied.
Past brought the memories, future anxiety with an increase in the rate of heart beats, to be present and calm inhale and exhale slowly. To be thought free, observe your breathing without attachment. Don’t accept any thoughts, just observe them and let them pass. I started spending time on this pattern of breathing. It had a calming effect, more than that I got a handle on my emotions and could take charge of them. It took me around six months of practice to make my emotions my slave from the other way around. My awareness increased and I could decide my moods I wanted to be in. When I am sad for some reason, I will continue to be in that state, enjoy it and decide its over let’s switch over to another state, all by my breath control.
Gradually I started finding the beauty of flowers, the coolness of the breeze, the greenness in nature back in life I learnt to decide my reactions. Our problems in life are from our automatic reactions, once you can decide how to respond life becomes interesting.
I started believing God. My life long friend is my breath is my GOD”.
Today her life is filled with meaningful and fulfilling services for the down trodden in the society and she is happy by giving joy to many.
10 thoughts on “I found my GOD”
Beautiful story. That’s why all therapists, domestic and professional say to “Take a deep breath”.
We all know this, but at actual time of need our emotions get the better of us and we neglect this basic doctrine even knowing that it’s entirely in our capacity to do so.
I still feel God has no hand in this. It’s each individual for oneself.
Her breath is her God
Beautifully narrated as always, Her breath is her God
Nice reading, never knew the importance of breathing and only now at the fag end of my life I realise breathing is LIFE itself.
Also fortified by COVID 19.
Very true, many has realised now why our breath is our God. Even one minute it stops he/she is not there. – Gangaram
Thought provoking story, depicting the importance of way of breathing. Another way of remembering God.
Dear Rajendra, In today’s condition this write up is very useful. Brathing is what enhaling the air with Oxygen and exhaling the air with Carbon di Oxide. This shows you are living and relaxed. When I think of soul, I conclude that breathing only is Atma. As soon as you stop breathing your Atma leaves you and your body & you know more exist. As such you rightly said the Almighty lives in our Breathing. Finally your Atma integrates with Parmatma (the air surrounding us). धन्यवाद।
“You should ask how are you feeling”
and “the importance of breathing”….Very well dwelled upon
A monk once wrote, “when you learn to navigate and manage your breath, you can manage anything in life”.
Wonderfully narrated sir, enjoyed reading.
Deep within every one there is a gypsy. I call that the inner voice. In Sanskrit it is “tat swam asi”; in Bible “the kingdom of God is within you”.
During the grieving period the inner voice slowly comes to surface. If you still persist you are likely to find the way forward.
Necessarily it is a collateral benefit of deeply felt sorrow.
Hence, sorrow, grief, depression etc have their place in every one’s life. What is evolving out of them is important.