Online not before 9


I finished my morning walk, a few rounds in the park and sat on a bench to do some breathing exercise, pranayam. Someone was sitting there I looked at him, smiled and he returned it.

“Are you a regular here ?” he asked

” No, some days, I go to the park near the Ayyappa temple”, I said and closed my eyes.

” Which toothpaste do you use”, he asked

I opened my eyes.
I did not know this man and this bolt of a question out of the blue , did shake me a bit.

He was a healthy looking man.
I gave him a did I hear right look and he asked ” tooth paste ?”.

I said colgate, patanjali, wanted to give him more, when he asked ” have you ever tried to put it back into the tube anytime, when you realised there is more on the brush than should have been “.
I said, yes, could not.
” Just like words, once out, thats it” he said.
“Eh ? “

I asked him, “why do you ask” though I thought in my mind to ask him whether he is selling ?

” I will tell you, before  that
I want to share my experience with you”.

I said ,” go ahead”.

I can imagine some of my friends reading this will tell me “Menon, you are the only one on earth, who will leave your job behind, to listen to a stranger “.

My reason is I believe every human being is a story and I can learn from their experience. My curiosity is why someone should pick me to hear his story. There is a reason for everything, though I do not go behind the unknown reason.
He continued

“I had got hooked to whatsapp, instagram, facebook. Before I got out of bed, I had the phone in my hand and was busy, anxiously looking at it to see what I missed while I was asleep.
There I find a message, angers me, I reply and my mood is set for the day. I get deeply involved in it, any interruption, angers me. The same is the scene with my family members. It has become my world. I cannot be away from it even for 5 minutes. Addiction. Everything else became second priority. Lack of exercises and no walks started telling on my body. It started affecting my family life. My children were happy when I was not at home. In the beginning, I was shouting at my children for playing games in the computer and here I was, worse. Once when I was arguing with my wife early in the morning, when my son came and asked me when was I going out. You want something. Yes, I want peace. That was a knock out for me. Immediately, I came here and sat on this bench without my phone.
Instead of justifying my actions, I felt things have to change. I looked for an answer to two questions, what has to change and how.
I tried to recall many of those unpleasant moments and fights.
All my reactions were
1. Procastination, no time for important jobs

2. Little little things which could be ignored became issues

3. Took everything personally, when it was not true. I kept thinking people are whispering about me.

4. Others were not doing things my way

I was living in the Virtual world in the cell far away from the real world. People nearby whom I could see, touch and feel became distant and my media friends who were at a distance were seemingly close, seemingly not actually.
Along with my temper my neck and back were affected.”

The he pointed to some walkers, he showed a lady who was talking on the phone, a youngster behind  texting, followed by a group who were talking, no use of these morning walks, waste.

I asked him ” Are you having any problem with your folks at home “

” I took some corrective actions, I kept away from the phone” he said, “It did not work, I felt like a drug addict without his quota of drug, stressfull “.

” I scheduled it, it will be “on” only after 10, I will reply between 11-12, again between 4-6.. Of course, for any emergency or urgency,  call me . The total change took some time, finally I did it. Now I am very much at peace”.

” So you are resting in peace now, ha, ha” I said and it was a waste of humour. I wanted to withdraw it but words once uttered cannot be. He hardly heard it, looks like he has changed.

All this while I kept inhaling and exhaling counting 1 to 10, I think.

Finally he said ” toothpaste question was only to hold your attention”
Smart trick I thought, I kept wondering all the time, what is the connect, though it was not necessary to draw my attention.

The talk ended, he got up and asked ” did,I bore you ?”
I said ” No, thank you” and with a wave of his hand he walked away.

He spoke out of compulsion to share, for him it was an accomplishment, he was happy.

I noted his  points  that affected his behaviour in my notes in my phone. This was more than a year ago and I have not seen him again.

The other day when I saw these points, it set me thinking. During the Covid period, with people working from home, family members together under the same roof, there may have been negative environment and domestic violences due to various reasons.

By any chance is the social media one of the reason ?

I am not sure of myself, anyway I decided to put some discipline in my media appearances. Not exactly discipline, a time table, not to use the media before 9 a.m and cut off by 6 pm. At least, take substantial breaks.

Not that any body cares, though I care. I was off responding to the messages for a few days, no body came looking for me.

However, these devices being the business centre for many, it may not be possible to keep away from it for long, except for the social media, if it is affecting

Published by:

rajmenon

Grateful for the love and respect received so far. Inspire, motivate and enable anybody to achieve their limitless limits-that is my goal for the rest of my life. Worked in MECON, Mphasis, Cofounder KelpHR, kelphr.com

Categories Uncategorized10 Comments

10 thoughts on “Online not before 9”

  1. *Nice blog* *BTW, did you read my article on Jeevan Griha flat.. this is my second blog. First onesies Mauritus exp which was published in MEA journal VV*

    *PHF V.V. Sethuramian Ph.D*

    * 34, Block-5 , 25th Main, J.P.Nagar phase -1, Bengaluru-560078*

    *Mob : 09611216000*

    *Landline: 080-26645450*

    On Wed, Dec 30, 2020 at 11:37 AM Rajmenon’s Blog wrote:

    > rajmenon posted: “I finished my morning walk, a few rounds in the park and > sat on a bench to do some breathing exercise, pranayam. Someone was sitting > there I looked at him, smiled and he returned it.”Are you a regular here ?” > he asked” No, some days, I go to the park near” >

    1. What a fantastic point of view. This involuntary stimulus to get on the social can be intriguing and annoying at the same time. What makes it worthwhile is the discipline… You have got it right!

  2. A small response on the toothpaste problem: In the old days of metallic toothpaste tubes, it was really impossible to put back toothpaste into the tube, after you squeezed out a little in excess. However, now these are in plastic tubes, which allows you to put back the excess.
    For this you have to squeeze out all excess air in the tube first of all, then hold its mouth near the excess bit of paste, and press the tube near the back of the tube where it starts becoming flat, as if to make it round there also. You will see that the paste gets back to the tube, easier with the pastes which are more liquidy in consistency.
    Wish to try!?

  3. Social media is a big problem that affects people negatively even if it is not intending to do so.

    For example there is a feed that I follow called humans of Bombay. While its intention is to bring out the stories of people who have successfully struggled against human abuse, violence, race, religion and caste it triggers a very deep sadness in me that what world we are living in. While we have to know realistically what bad the world holds this context can really set you up for a depression

    Other posts from people related to their views on political news and happenings around the world again has the same effect.

    I am a social media addict although these days I tend to really filter what I read. I have completely stopped reading news paper. My point is if it is impt enough it will anyway come as info through other channels. Reacting to them in the social media through comments is the worse thing that screws with your mood

    it is a balance that we need to strike between being informed vs beingdetached

  4. What a fantastic point of view. This involuntary stimulus to get on the social media can be intriguing and annoying at the same time. What makes it worthwhile is the discipline… You have got it right!

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