I get a seat in a metro, easy, since it is the starting point. Two ladies, one young and the other not so young, seats themselves on my either side. Well, I am not complaining. We have one or two standing, Within no time, it reaches the next station and many gets in and we have lot of them standing. The ladies on my either side gets busy on their mobile. I close my eyes and doze off. All of a sudden I wake up, did I hear a distant sound, close by ? People are looking at me. The young lady on my left gives me a look and looks away. The Lady on my right, is focused on her cell. After two minutes, the lady on my right let go a sound, not exactly from the bottom of her heart, much below. Ah, so that’s what woke me up. People started looking at me and the lady was oblivious of the surrounding. For once I regretted being a man, under such circumstances , men are number one, suspect. And here I am, sitting accused. No questions, no clarification, only Judgment. You know what follows the sound, I am not mentioning that here.
The young girl to my left got up after the third firing, giving me a dirty look, moved away to be out of range. I wanted to stop her and tell, I am sitting next to a Ventriloquist. I asked the lady, who has not taken her eyes off the cell phone, how far was she going (pun intended). She just gave a laugh and went back to her phone, only the two of us understood the joke, though not very funny. A little later she took pity on me and said in her lingo “no, control”. I whispered “see a doctor”. “Doctor also no control”, she said. Well, She has to let go to stay alive.
I got up with the guilty noose around my neck , stepped into a safer zone, when another sucker jumped on to the vacant seat next to the lady. Best of luck, have a good time.
Unfortunately this stinking topic is a global phenomena. I do not know how many out of every how many suffers from this internal problem. Can this be listed as an item under public nuisance ?
Let’s call this as Mr. G for convenience. G in one direction make other’s life miserable, the other direction makes own life painful. The degree of suffering varies. I have seen people rolling on the ground unable to deal with it, some spending sleepless nights, swallowing sleeping pills, doing all sorts of things in desperation. There is a specialised branch of medicine called Gasteroenterology dealing with digestive system and its disorders.
I am not G authority of India, however I spent some time to know G better. Most of us pass G 20 times per day, says an expert. G pain may occur if it is trapped or not moving well through your digestive system. High fibre food like beans, peas, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, carbonated drinks (like, soda, beer), eating habits causes G. Now this is what we all eat, however, a difference in opinion between the large intestine and the small can create excess G.
One reason is the style of eating which we can control and that is swallowing air which happens when eating too quickly, talking while chewing. There are some big terms which I could not chew , which a doctor passed on to me. If I tell you that you will say I am G ing.
Chest pain (mistaken for heart attack), back pain and body pain, the reason may be G. Any of those symptoms, we should not try self treatment by out G ing, better go to a doctor.
One thought, is there any research on, to harvest G for alternate energy ?
22 thoughts on “Step on the G”
A subject that’s tooo muchhh to “digest”…..
One lesson is that if you happen to spot 3 vacant seats better take any one side… definitely not the centre one…..
Haha. Good point. I wonder whether I will ever sit. Standing is good for digestion
Hhhhhaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaa maybe true…..
Your right, it stinks. 😁😏
That’s why I am sending this to a selected few, who understands
Haa…haa… it stinks more to the mind, than to the nose.
That’s why I am sending this to a selected few, who understands
Haha ha……. what a hilarious piece. G is an international phenomenon. In the end the lady would have thought ‘O wat a relief’! She finished her work and d arrow of suspicion is on somebody else.
Hahahahaha….sooperb writing…mildly put, however strongly felt 😉
Well said, strongly felt
G used to b a major problem in my childhood. But by avoiding certain food v can avoid the build up of G as u said. G can b the really troublesome.
You have given a beautiful shape to G while telling the incidence. “G” is part and parcel of everyone’s life, from birth to death, only the quantity and quality varies. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Apprecite your G experience. Hats off to you you have touched a subject which is untouched by many.
Thanks Subhash. The G factor is the root cause of many pronlem
stinking topic. but handled with diplomacy of real parlimentarian. hats off. let better topics flash off . but thanks
Thank you for the response
Ya, published with lot of hesitancy. This topic though not discussed, is experienced by all most all
The big G has lot of home remedies recommendations, eat that , dont eat that …. but when it has to happen will happen…. good learning from that girl who owned the big G but with great humility refused to acknowledge it was hers….nice one!
Well, nobody asked her 🙂
Thoroughly enjoyed your ‘travelogue’ written with tongue in cheek. You have handled a topic that is difficult to write without getting ugly. That men are presumed to be the primary source of G (as if women never exhale G) is interesting and I guess your own narration is the proof. Was the not-so-young lade using her cell phone as a cover or was genuinely using it like so many of her fellow citizen from kids to geriatrics?
I did know that fast eating or talking while eating can cause G. I suffer from gas (though I rarely need to demonstrate in public) and hence I try to avoid both these causes but one tends to forget such restraints and quickly return to earlier and well ingrained habits. That G can be a cause for many seemingly unrelated pains is less known. I suffer from mild asthma (though 3-4 times a year) and have a cure that takes 5 second to inhale and breathe easy (Asthalin). I know when my stomach after a heavy meal is full and results in gas sometimes it results in asthma-like condition.
In these days of harvesting energy from anything and wind energy being a major global source why not this wind too? (A recent news was girls in a Northern school having harnessed noise (common to India specially from traffic) to produce electricity (through a converting sensor) to light up LEDs.
Your journeys on bus, metro, train seems to provide a good fodder for blog articles. I think you should ride them more often. Also, let there be more of such light anecdotes.
Thank you, Dr. Earlier, I did not have any audience in my mind while writing. Today, you are one among some of the intellectuals I have in mind while writing. I appreciate your opinions. Remember, a few posts ago, you had expressed your dissatisfaction and I immediately deleted the post. You, yourself is a good writer, the speciality in you is that you cover a topic extensively leaving little room for people like me to comment, even ask questions. Your knowledge is quite deep about something you write, whereas mine is a surface knowledge. Thank you for the motivating responses
Fiction to which your blog articles belong is a medium on a very different level than non-fiction articles I write. You are in the company of Nobel Laureates (I think all of them were great fiction writers).
Writing of blog like you have requires an eye that can read into a situation where others would gloss over and not spot what is interesting.
Good that we appreciate each other’s writing.
Finally, Dr, your response has landed on autopilot.