7 March

Next year, today, 7 March 2020, I will be 70, whether I am there or not. Thank you.

There was a time , many 7 March went by like any other day. These days, I have a few loves, who calls me to wish, there is no way I can forget.

I have become aware of my birthday when it comes, it makes me think of me, nice to know the breathing is smooth. Feels good to have travelled this far. There are many who has left at much younger age and there will be many who will out live me, happy for them and wish them a healthy and a happy journey. Life comes with a start date and an encrypted end date, though there are astrologers and palmists who claim they can decrypt.

Now I am aware of eventuality of life, unlike in the past. One more realisation have crept in, that I was not controlling the steering wheel of my life though I had my hands on it. There were times when I steered left, it went to the right, to the right it went to the left and at times never mind which way I turned, it went straight. However, the belief that you are driving will  keep life interesting. Continue..

One great lesson, what I have besides life, is time, the only asset. Some of my time, I use it, rest others use it. It is the only thing available with me for investment, time to love, help, work, feel, think and whatever.

Life is not how long you live, it’s how well you live. Happiness is all about how you respond to situations and not how you react. If some one drop coffee on your shirt, respond smilingly, go change it or continue life with the stains is what happiness is all about. If you are going to react,  anger, shout, blame, tantrums, results in  stress. Stress can be avoided If you can accept a situation as it is and not resist with what could have or should have been.

I like the way my brother-in-law, Dr. Gopal, corrects me, when I am doing it the wrong way, that this can also be done this way showing the right way, I don’t feel wrong. While handling the kids, instead of stopping them from doing some thing by shouting ‘don’t’, give them something safe to do. Its tough because you know “don’t do”, not “what to do”.

Most of our stresses falls under the category of health, finance and relationship. Communication is one of  the key element for a healthy relationship. A good communication is not WHAT you say, it is HOW you say.  Can you please be seated outside, till I finish the call or shouting “get out” means the same, what about the effect ? Most probably one of them wont come back or will be back with a knife.

When the father complained “my son is not listening to me”, the solution given was “you listen to him “. A good communicator is a good listener. While in communication, we generally find ourselves interrupting or adding our comments or waiting impatiently to speak, jarring the talk. It has taken me years to understand this. In a group  conversation, I get deeply engaged in listening to all until someone mentions “Why are you quiet ?”. I was silent, not quiet, fully engaged. I got into a habit to talk only when I think I can add value to the silence or the topic in discussion. The value is evaluated by the listener. Blogging is a great way to communicate, no interruption, say whatever you want to say, you don’t have to worry who is listening and the ones who enjoyed will express it some way or the other.

These days communication is easier through phone than face to face because priority is given to the person on the phone.

This life has been full of mistakes, rights, wrongs, joy, loss (only people), likes, love, attachments, friends, relatives. Experience of sense of loss is for the friends, relatives, lives that was connected really and virtually, not for materials. Learnt to detach from materials , accepted a truth, we do not own anything, just custodians for a brief period.

Its been a journey, enriched with friends from different religion, state, country, strata in society, poor and rich. It worked well, we saw each other as human beings. Rich friends were difficult to maintain, engaged less with them, whereas it was a joy to share with the poor ones.

Had some off track moments in life to help the poor friends, while in school.

They were the ones who were part of a large family finding it difficult to pay school fees, buy text books, see movies, eat out due to the limited income of their father.  They took up stealing to keep up with the Jones. I saw, picking up a fistful of notes from a rich lady’s purse, a family friend, to help my friends, as an innocent act, Robinhoodish. I wasn’t caught, either the rich lady did not miss the money or she diplomatically kept quiet.

When my father was transferred to Ranchi, I had to part ways with them. I told them this is not the right way, we have to change, in case we are caught, a lot of lives will be in trouble. Stealing is wrong. They agreed, I am not sure whether they followed, I have not met them again.

I stopped stealing to help.

I could help many others, many in tribal villages, with my time, teaching them maths and a few to make medium wave transistor radios, to help them to be in touch with news, songs and radio programs.

My accomplishment is I have made “no enemies”