Sabu, 64, my neighbour in kanjiaramattom, kerala, came out of the bathroom, collapsed and was gone, derpived of his next moment of his life. A good neighbour, always there for each other, a relatioship originated by our great grandparents,may be greater, leaves behind his wife, son and daughter and whole lot of relatives.
A dear and near one’s loss results in total grief whereas a distant relative, neighbour or acquaintance’s exit makes us philosphise along with sadness. The only realty in life is death where you become an image forever. Period.
The person who dies, he or she is relieved of all his anxieties and is at peace. For those who never lived in peace, RIP is a fair end. The disturbance is for folks, someone leaves behind. The degree of sorrow varies depnding on their dependance on the departed.
For the spouse, the partner has become a habit and everything that was happening in partnership, ends and you have to tug along alone from here onwards.There is no substitute to fill in the gap at that age. The society gives you a tag of widow or widower and looks at you with different eyes. And you experience this title in some family functions when you are not allowed to perform certain rites.
Whether we have a rebirth is of no consolation, death is a death, inevitable. Science have no reason to be arrogant as long as it cannot conquer death. Science will always be behind nature.
Last week, my cousin, Dr Sujith, lakshmi, their two kids aged 4 years and the other 9 months old, along with his parents was involved in an accident, the car went off the road and fell 10 to 15 feet below, a complete wreck in a side on position.The good news is that all of them were pulled out of the car by the people from the neighbourhood and passersby and taken to the nearest hospital and had minor injuries except the mother who had a few fractures is on her way to recovery and smiling.
What made them come out with few bruises ? The safety features ?
Luck ? GOD ? Remember Diana, died in a car crash , a Merc with the best safety features. There is a science in nature , we do not know how it functions.
We all have an end date and nobody goes before their time.
I saw a video which talks about people who are nearing death not afraid of it but regretting for not doing things in life.
Please do not. Everybody is doing their best at any given moment. You have not done certain things because you were not supposed to do. Some people climbed the mount Everest, you did not, you are not supposed to, no need to regret.
Everybody has a dream, some small, others big ones. Everybody has their own pace. Live at your own comfortable pace. What you get is what you deserve.
You can read all the self improvement books in the market, attend all those expert’s lectures, nothing will work unless you work for it. If you were to work for it you would have already done it. Everybody cannot be a leader, there have to be followers , also. This sounds negative, well life is full of positives and negatives.
We are spiritual beings for human experience on earth. We should work, earn money, love, give and be honest, don’t be impressed by the story of Alexandar the great, who put his hands out to show that he is not carrying anything with him when he died. It may not matter when you are dead, it does when you are alive.
When man asked GOD to give him whatever he asked for, he got a reply , he can get anything on one condition that he will give his neighbor twice of what he asks for himself. Well errr….
Life is full of hits and misses, whether it’s Gandhi, Tendulkar or Lionel Messi. Don’t bother to understand life, just enjoy. We are all part of nature and we do not understand nature, how will we understand life. The science, we work on is done with the help from nature. Science will enable you to travel to another planet, it can tell how things work, however not why it works. It can never create elements, only extract from a compound.
There are experts who can talk authoritatively on religion and GOD and atheists who can argue against. Neither of them can prove nor disprove any of them. A religious believes in the existence of God and the atheist or rationalist believes in non existence.
A belief is an assumption, when proved it becomes the truth, until then it’s just a belief. We need plenty of them to survive. Respecting each other’s beliefs is the way forward.
These days I open the two precious gifts of mine, every day in the morning, my two eyes and realise there is one more day. When you are young and busy, you have no time for death nor it’s thought. For me, having reached this far in life, I have time to think, plan and accept the reality and leave less chaos behind for my near and dear ones.
An extract from “Dash” by Linda Ellis
The line etched into a headstone
Between the dates of birth and death
Represents each step we take on earth
… and every single breath
To many, it is but a hyphen…
Marking time between the years
But in that little dash, is a lifetime
Of laughter, love and tears..
Time steals our days and hours
Before we recognise the theft
And we live each day not knowing
how much of our dash is left
Rajmenon's Blog 
Enjoyed this piece too. I have been bit skeptical of self-help books and other offerings in that genre (speakers, workshps etc.) because it is difficult to change unless one decides to and consciously works for it. Also, agree with you that we cannot all be leaders. We should instead think that the idolised leader could not be you and in the process missed on many things that you could do.
One of the ironies of life is that it leaves you short of money in your youth when you need it (for education, house etc.) and gives it to you more than your needs when you begin to have limitations on its enjoyment. You cannot correct this situation through teaching. But there is something that can be possibly taught. We waste much of our lives by living it for self. Realization of the misery of others and empathy to do something about it comes much later in life. It does not have to. Why is it that along with civics (I assume they teach it still in schools) charity by way of giving part of yourself (more in kind than money) is also taught in schools. I argue that a person who invests 10% of his time working for society when he is young (possibly one Sunday in a month) can reap great mental peace that will have secondary benefits that will outweigh his ‘loss’ if any in the social investment. (The person must invest likewise 30% of his or her time in family. That too is very important. This is an advise I would give to all young people who give their 100% to the career.
Recently while discussing the problems my wife Archana faces in our housing society managing committee on account of ego of each member I realized that egos (even with senior senior persons) can be a major impediment in achievement. For once I would vote for attending and organizing a workshop on shedding one’s ego. If you haven’t written about ego so far (and the damage it can do) then I would love to read you writing a blog on it.
Yes, Dr, you have made a good point, in suggesting youth to give their time for social service. In most of my writings and talks to youngsters, I say, you make a living out of what you get and a life with what you give. I shall take up the ego issue, which is the root cause of all evils in society .
After hitting 56 years, I am getting a enough ‘signals’ that should take me to the ‘destination’ with much more ease. The kids who were depending on us no longer ‘needs’ us. They are becoming more and more ‘independent’ and leaving away from us. The ‘communication’ is becoming less and less and that is teaching me a sense of ‘detachment’.
Well, we all blame the present lifestyle that is resulting in kids more or less becoming independent and leaving far away from us. In a way this will leave us with more time, more money but less and less interest on those worldly things that we were crazy. It is strange that when we have more time to ourselves and also with more money than we require, and our time is no longer needed for our kids, we might be disturbed initially. But we will be at peace eventually and might become less and less interested in the worldly things..
May be it is a blessing in disguise for the ‘journey to the destination’. At least I am getting that sense.
You are right, Samarth, a stage in life comes when you are not needed. When you look back, you will realize, people did not love you, they loved your provision that met their needs. Live life as it comes. Don’t waste time analyzing , live on.