Recognition, derecognition


Vijay’s parents were expected from kannur by bus. 6 oclock the bus arrives and in my enthusiasm to receive them, I am right in front of the door along with some autorikshaw drivers waiting to grab the passengers. First , second passengers alight, ah there they are. An elderly couple with their bags, looking up, while stepping down the steps, for recognition a

nd I step in before the auto guys can hijack them. Don’t worry, I am here and took the bag from him. Vijay had called me just now to check whether you have reached.

I pushed the auto rickshaw driver aside who was ready to take the bag from the lady. Car is there, these auto guys are dangerous guys, they will simply push you into there vehicle and take you away. Bus is on time. I did not have to wait. Could you sleep in the bus ? They followed me, seeing their hesitancy, I reassured them, it’s me Rajan, Prema’ s husband. Though I have not seen you before, I could recognise you immediately. They stopped.. Very politely, the gentleman said, You are making a mistake. Our son’s name is not Vijay. I think you are picking the wrong people. I could not have looked more stupid in my life. 

I gave him back his bag and looked around to see a lonely couple, a little away, looking lost and wondering from which direction their saviour is coming. Apologetically, I pointed towards them and said I mistook you for them. 

This time I made sure, it’s the right people in the car going home with me. I thought of dropping the mistaken couple home. They disappeared with their life, to some safe zone.


Another time, the secretary of the executive association came to our office for a meeting. He spotted me out of the crowd came near me and shook my hand with a cheerful how are you boss ?. I gave him a blank look wondering whether he is doing it for my vote. ” you have forgotten me, I am Kripal singh, during my last visit, in the month of february, you took me to Brigade road and help me find the part for my standard herald. He being a well known figure was feeling insulted by my blank looks and could not understand the reason for my behaviour. Neither did I !! And it was too much of me to expect him to be understanding. He got completely blanked out of my mind, inspite of spending a whole day with him, within two months.

I asked Jain, who visited me from the head office,how come, it took an year for him to visit this office. He said , he was here 6 months ago. When I asked him why we did not meet, he looked searchingly onto my face and said I forgot to look for you. Jain saheb went up in my esteem a few notches highwith this honest answer.

 Until then, in his place,  I would have cooked up a hundred reasons.  There was a lesson there for me. Never mind, how many good friends you have in town, you may not remember to call or visit all of them. Some of them due to distance or time and a few of them, simply goes out of your mind at that moment. It happens to me, to you and to all, some time or the other. Accept this fact instead of reacting negatively.

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Grateful for the love and respect received so far. Inspire, motivate and enable anybody to achieve their limitless limits-that is my goal for the rest of my life. Worked in MECON, Mphasis, Cofounder KelpHR,

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One thought on “Recognition, derecognition”

  1. For some reason I was reminded of Malgudi days. I guess the simplicity of the events and connecting the two into recognition/derecognition pair caused that recollection. The derecognition part is more insightful. I guess our mind does whole lot of processing of each event and relationship. If after 2 months the event and the person has completely blanked out of our mind then we should recongnize that the event was not a pleasant one overall and make that as our default assessment of the person and mould our possible future meetings with him or her.

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