What problem, no problem

I could hear the ticket collector’s loud voice and his laughter.. He seems to be finding great joy in his work, for many, a very monotonous job. What is he doing, I have a problem here with my seat and at this rate he will not reach me tonight. I walked up to him and said ‘I have a problem….’, before I could complete he guffawed, ha ha… don’t call it a prablem saar, only aappartunities..’ I said, you can call it what you want, there is a lady sleeping in the berth allotted to me, number 60 and I am travelling to Bangalore. Everybody around laughed and my anxiety simply melted away.
He came to my seat, bend down and exchanged some whispers with the lady, turned towards me and said ‘Saar, you are young and strong, you can easily occupy the upper berth, the lady is not well’. I was holding a senior citizen concessional ticket and with joint pains and a boosted spirit, I went up with silent oohs, aahs and ouches.
This joally man converted a problematic (my perspective) situation to an opportunity to serve a lady who needed help.
Give it a thought, what is a so called problem ? As long as life is there, there is a solution to every situation, quite often many. Once there is a solution, it is no more a problem. The end situation in life is death. Once we die, there goes the problem, what ever.
A manager walked into my room. “Sir, I have problem with my mother in law’. By the way, the manager is a female.
“please sit and what is the problem?”
“she gets very angry when I return home, late”
“why do you return home late”
“I stay back in the office, an extra hour or two, to meet our schedule”
“Why cant you complete the job in time, after all you are the one who is scheduling it”
“Still, sir, sometimes, it happens”
“Have you told your mother in law the reason for the late coming”
“yes, she says she does not care, be home early”
“Are you ok to stop working”
“no, Sir”
“ I need the money, after all I have my husband’s mother, father and college going sister at home and single member salary will not suffice”
“Tell your mother in law, you will have to give up the job”
“She says you can leave the job, no coming late, she cannot tolerate me coming home late”
“In that case you leave the job and please your mother in law”
“No. sir”
“Go home and tell your MIL that I have asked you to stop coming to office from next week, that is from the first and you stay back home tomorrow and tell her you have decided to leave with immediate effect. Buy something nice for her and gift it from me and tell her I lectured you about the importance of giving priority to look after old people.”
The mother in law was touched by the gift and my concern for her, what worked was her non acceptance of being bracketed into the old age group. She came to the office the next day with her daughter in law and I said ‘wow, she is your mother in law, she looks younger than you”.
The daughter in law continues to work till date, while I have moved out.
The treatment will vary from mother in law to mother in law.
There are no problems, only situations to deal with. Accept the reality as it is, stop whinnng, do not resist. All our stresses are the result of resistance to reality. Respond, not react to a situation, take action. You cannot undo anything in life, you can only redo.

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Grateful for the love and respect received so far. Inspire, motivate and enable anybody to achieve their limitless limits-that is my goal for the rest of my life. Worked in MECON, Mphasis, Cofounder KelpHR, kelphr.com

Categories Uncategorized8 Comments

8 thoughts on “What problem, no problem”

  1. Some MILs can be the other way around. When my wife wanted to study law after she got married my mother was the first to encourage her. She told her go ahead and study, I will do the work at home. Later on when she started her practice she used to leave home at 7-8am and back at 9pm some times and never faced any problems.

    1. You are Right Narendra ji. My wife always says her mother in law is better than mine. You and your wife are an admirable couple living a service oriented life. Only good people will be in your life, hence the wonderful mother in law in your wife’s life.

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