Tim Triggers a change

Tim Dietler’s forward-

Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the people I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.


Thanks Tim. I shall take this further

A parent complained to Stephen Covey: “I can’t understand my son; he simply does not listen to me.” Covey’s answer: “I guess, to understand your son you need to listen to him.”  [“Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey]

During one of my frequent travels by bus to Cochin from Bangalore, I got into conversation with a guy sitting next to me. What I understood from him, in short.

He was growing at a great pace in his career. Success went to his head early. He felt he was ahead of his team, peers and his boss. In last fifteen years he changed several jobs. Last six months he has no job and not finding one matching his profile and compensation

“I excel at work. Is it not ok to expect excellence from my team and boss? I  want them to operate at a certain level of intellectual level so that the overall efficiency of the organization goes up. May be I will start my organization so that I get rid of all this type of  people. I am not able to accept others for their lack of intelligence and lack of sensitivity in carrying  out their job . If I accept them I will become inefficient and that’s why I want them to change.”He said.

Try this.

Solution lies in aligning with people. Respect people for what they are and help them become what they can be. Only when you show respect, they will start looking up to you. Before the professional behind the leader is accepted , the person within the leader has to be respected. Not only your capability but your compatibility determines your growth.

Accept people as they are and change your approach towards them.

Successful organizations are built through people, process and technology. Professionals are who can maximize the effectiveness of process and technology by enhancing the efficiency of the people.

To build people, you need willingness to align with them.  Understand, every one is unique. Focus on their strength (I never bothered about their weakness). Trust them. This has worked for me and this will work for you. First step is to ask your EGO to take a walk. It may take time, never mind , take the first step.

It has worked.

I am not sure where he is now but an year ago, he had send a message that he was happy because people with him are happy.


A new CEO wanted to shake up the company by getting rid of the slackers. During his round he found a guy leaning against a wall.

How much do you earn a week. 2000 bucks , sir, replied the young man. Here is 2000 buck and get out of here and do not come back.

After his first firing, he looked around and asked the team  what was the guy doing here.

He came to deliver a pizza.


Will be back with how a great relationship was established between MphasiS, an HP company and ALLDATA, an AUTOZONE company and some outstanding people behind it

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Grateful for the love and respect received so far. Inspire, motivate and enable anybody to achieve their limitless limits-that is my goal for the rest of my life. Worked in MECON, Mphasis, Cofounder KelpHR, kelphr.com

Categories Uncategorized6 Comments

6 thoughts on “Tim Triggers a change”

  1. Good stories and blog, Rajan.

    If we truly believe in “free will”, then we should not look at people as some “things” or “objects” to change, but as individuals who “choose” whether to listen to us, whether to agree or disagree with what we say, and to decide whether to act as we would want them to. It is then easy to see that the best way to influence and lead is to “persuade” people to listen, think, decide and act. Motivation that comes from within people cannot be matched by any other force from outside.

    Raj Khandekar

  2. Even 35 years back, when I started interaction with you, I started noting your this special trait that is “to accept people as they are and change your approach towards them”. Though, you were younger than me, this your trait attracted me towards you. I accepted you as my guru to learn this skill and in this process, our relation developed into a lasting friendship.

    I was amazed to see the kind of friends, colleagues and acquaintances with extremely varying behavioural patterns moving easily with you. I felt awkward many times as I was not familiar with such widely varying behavioural people. Yet, I accepted your approach as “one of the best practices” in dealing with people.

    Change management is meaningless with out “empathy”, “putting yourself in other’s shoes”, “seeing the other’s point of view” etc what you call “accepting people as they are” rather than “what they should be”.

    Further to supplement you, I believe that “people as they are” because of “the system” they are in. So, when I want to “manage change”, I first accept people as they are and analyse the system they are in. I do not blame people at all for deficiencies. I try to find out how the system can be improved so that deficiencies can be prevented in future.

    In other words, change management is nothing but a “control system design”. (you may wonder, what am I talking, where the topic is leading to, don’t worry it will make many to scratch their head).

    I remember when I was in IITM in 1973-75; I was keen in Electronics also. I wanted to design a “good audio amplifier”. I approached Prof Achuthan, and he was kind enough to give me small laboratory with all facilities for my exclusive use. I studied “design of feedback control system” and tried to hook up the circuit and test it for targeted performance. Finally, designed a good audio amplifier with feed back control. I learned the following:
    1. Each component is unique.
    2. A component of certain specification has still some variation and specified by tolerance value like 1%, 5% etc.
    3. A good circuit design takes care of such variations (tolerance values) and achieves a desired and consistent performance.
    4. Good designers do not blame the components for their variations in their characteristics, they “accept them as they are”.
    5. These designers design the circuit (system) in such a manner that these variations are taken care of and still able to achieve the desired performance.

    Bye Menon, expecting your next topic,

    1. Immediately, I don’t want others to see a MAC (mutual admiration club) in action. I will keep it for some other time.
      I would like friends participating in this blog to visit – http://sakthidaran.learningprofessor.info/blog/ .
      Sakthi has a lot to tell you about untold story of Mumbai attack, solutions to wireless connectivity problem in ubuntu, Ramana Maharishi and many many more

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