Call Entertainment

One name popped up on my phone and on an impulse I dialed his number, I do not remember when was the last time we spoke to each other.  The phone kept ringing and a voice said something that meant the one I am calling is not attending my call. I tried again, same message. I tried again, a third time, generally I stop after two attempts unless it’s an emergency. After 2 rings, I got a response “hello “.

“Hi, I am Menon Rajendra Menon ( Bond James bond)”

“Oh God, what a pleasant surprise”, he said

“Listen, relax, I just called to tell you I am alive”, I said

“Were you going to die “

“No, these days, you never know who gets picked UP”

“Nice to know both of us are still at the crease, batting “

“I want you to know, this is a call with no strings attached”

“Guru, thank you, these days I hardly get any call, the ones I get is for credit card, insurance and the other day I got one and she says we have the outline of your brief, can you send us a detailed one, it is for an attractive position in a large multinational company, I thought they are looking for a model for underwears and I told her I am 70 plus and I don’t think I will be suitable for any job. She said 70, Sorry sir, it is for middle management position. “

I did not know for how long we laughed , he kept talking, which I could not understand, I told him please give me minute to stop my laugh.

After the laughter I said “When you did not pick the phone, I thought you have gone up”

“Yes, I did go up, not that far up, just to the first floor. The phone was downstairs and I came down slowly, expecting some useless call”.

“You are fine, I suppose, to go up and down, no knees problem, which many are suffering from ? ” I asked   

“My niece is in Australia” he said laughing, that’s his way of saying he doesn’t  know what a Knee problem is

“How are you occupied, what do you do with your time”, I asked

“I get into all sorts of funny situation, listen, what happened today, I was in the bogs, when I finished,  there was no water in the tap and flush and no body at home. Shit, I have to go out to switch the pump motor on “ he said

I asked him “ your phone “ ?

He said “ I don’t take my phone to the bathroom”

I said “ You should take your phone at this age, though I never carry it “

“I have a reason for not carrying it” he said “One day while in the bogs, I got a video call from my aunt and I forgot where I was. She switched it off and then I realized “oh, shit ”.

After the laugh I asked him “what did you do , this time “

“What to do, there was no body at home, after an hour the bell rang, I wrapped a towel and opened the door and told her to switch on the motor and ran back. Now you can ask me, If I had the wrapper why I could not go out and switch on the motor ? Well, it was a small one slightly bigger than a hand kerchief and I could cover either the back or front “

I said I cant take this any more, shall I call you back.

“No, no don’t disconnect, you tell me how are things with you, what are you doing with your time, I liked the expression what are you doing with your time “ He said.

“A little exercise and walk in the morning, intraday trading, where you buy and sell shares on the same day,like one day cricket,  doing it with small amount, learning and practicing discipline. Discipline is the key for trading. Greed and fear are the two main things you have to overcome. Reading and occasional writing and I have my mother-in-law , 98, living with us..”

“Wow, live in with a 98 year old woman..” he interrupted

“Come on yaar…” I said

“Never experienced live in, we were born in wrong era “ He said

“You can find some one and give it a try “ I said.

“The only way is I have to divorce my wife and live with her, live in”

“How is your family setup” ? I asked

“ Sons, one in Newzealand, christchurch, the younger one in Honkong, they each have a son, 2 grandsons for me” he said

“Hope the sons sons are part of the equations that make your 2 grandsons” I asked.

“Ha ha, there is no manipulations, have 2 sons and 2 grandsons, straight forward” he said

“Never know with you, you can spring any surprise” I said

“Spring reminds me, How do you plant a kiss in spring “ he asked

I kept quiet

“With twolips” he said

“One more, what did the tree say in springtime” he said

“it’s a re-leaf” he said

“you are not coming out of your kid days, these are the things my grand children trouble me with” I said “I cant answer any of them”

“That’s why I keep mugging these things, my grandchildren are full of them” he said

He got diverted and was answering his wife and said “she was asking for the mosquito repellant”

He continued “ these days we have to  make our nights good with goodknights, age ho gaya”

He continued “there is one mosquito in my room, it stays away when the fan is on, the moment  I switch it off , it comes near my ear mmmmm. I made friends with it by humming back. It doesnot bite me. My wife keeps fighting with them. Its been going on for months. What is the life span of a mosquito ? I am not sure whether it’s the same mosquito, however looks like they make a will for the next gen whom to bite whom to spare.”

“Generally, if you are next to a buffalo, the mosquitos will not bite you, they say..”, I told him rather thoughtfully

“You mean my wife is a buffalo ?” he laughed

“Oh no sorry, I did not mean that way, actually, I mean….” I kept tuttering

“Ok boss, we shall talk later, I want to tell my wife about  your compliment” he said laughing

“Please don’t..”I kept on and he closed the call.

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Readers, my apologies, if you think the above is too trivia to post.