Another birthday ( 7 March), one more year added to the age, less time left for the end. Not complaining, rather celebrating for reaching this far.
All my younger year birthdays have passed by like an ordinary day, nobody calling or wishing, I remember forgetting a few myself. Do not know since when this date has become significant, every year there are family, friends, relatives who takes time off to wish me. It’s a nice feeling, to get attention of many well wishers.
Thanks to the social media, people whom we have not met gives us their time.
Every year, I take stock of the year gone by, hits, misses, change, departures, events. This is my first birthday without my mother, passed away in September 2021, at 95, a great strength , had the privilege of spending all of my 71 years of my life under her blessings.
Our parents may have reached a stage when they are not able to contribute and involve themselves in any of our decision making and we also stop consulting them on any matter though my mother would give instructions and judgements on culinary matters to my sister, until almost last but one month of her life. However, when they leave you feel like an orphan. It’s their sheer presence that was giving strength and we were unaware of it.
Besides my mother, many dear relatives, friends, associates and entertainers left within a short span, random picks in no particular order.
My friend’s daughter passed away last week, send a condolence message, did not know what to say, for me there is nothing more tragic than losing your child.
The other day I was having a discussion with a friend on dos’ and donts’ we senior citizens, can adapt for rest of our life.
He suggested, “Raj, you can give lectures and advises through social media, it will benefit a lot of youngsters.”
I said, “why don’t you do, knowing your experiences and your philosophy of life, you re more suitable for such an act and your communication is excellent “.
We laughed at his answer “No body listens and no body wants it, we are all retired wastes”.
“Bum …you are telling me…” we couldn’t stop laughing, I continued “ that’s why I blog, nobody has to listen and I do not know how many of them reads, at least I get the message across, that I am still alive may not be kicking enough. “
He said “ don’t give up, remember if you are alive, some one needs you, your life purpose is not over”.
I told him “ nobody needs anything from me except money, which I don’t have enough to share”.
“Remember what mother Teresa said give from where it hurts..”
I interrupted “ are you going to ask me for money no chance “.
“I don’t need it now, may be in the future…and then you have a bad habit of never saying no, it is time you change except in my case “, he said and asked “ how are your children?”
“they re doing well, with their life and problems” I said.
“Problems ? I thought you have stopped using that word, many of your blogs you have mentioned ,kya tha, what was that …situations..”
“ Ya, there are no problems, only situations to deal with..”, I completed it for him.
“It is easy to say don’t worry, jab phat tha hai (when you have a problem), you see it as a problem, not situation to deal with, you may be an exception”, he said.
“We should simplify our life, liquefy your properties…”
“ You mean daru (liquor)…” my joke
“ Even that is better than looking after the properties, pay taxes, all headaches” he continued “and don’t part with your money until you go, use it on you, go travel and enjoy whatever way possible at your age and health”
“time to stop ìmposing our self on others, stop talking about your marble playing days, leave your childr-en alone, stop interfering with their life” he continued, “and then don’t expect time from your children, they don’t have it, you want something, they will tell Amazon to get it for you. The only thing they like to hear about our young days when I tell them how I pataod (line) their mother for marriage, they end up with the comment Bechary (poor) mom.”
“Actually, I am trying to implement all these in my life”, he said.
“hahaha, I have been practicing these from my childhood, so I am fine, stress free”, I told him and we had a good laugh.
The conversation went on and finally to summarize
Take care of your health
Leave others alone, let them figure out their own life especially your children, they will do better.
Stop telling them they have missed living your childhood with all the new age comforts.
Call some one every day (different people) and bore them.
Don’t be upset when internet is down, use the time for meditation.
Let me share a joke he told me before I forget and end.
Two ladies were talking.
Lady 1 : My children do not come to see me though I send them cheques every month, I miss them.
Lady2 : Even I send them cheque and they come running to see me.
Lady 1 : wow, lucky, how do you do that ?
Lady 2 : I send the cheque without signing them.
After reading this you will understand how difficult it would have been if you had to hear it from me, at least now you have a choice to read or not to.