Fear is the key

 

Ffff…eee…aaa…rrr

Looks like one common emotion which most of us have is fear. I would have liked to say ‘all of us’ but I am sure somebody will stand up and claim ‘I am fearless, count me out of your list’. Ok, done.

It is quite useless to tell others to be bold and fearless. Better than that, how to deal with it.

It is an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm.

We can categories them into

1. Fear of Pain, due to

• Physical  – injury, disability
• Psychological – unmet expectations, feeling incomplete, unloved, heights, water

1. Fear of rejection , from

• Family
• Others, friends, work associates, strangers, public speaking

1. Fear of Loss, of

• People – self, identity, death, loved ones
• Possession- job, wealth, life styles , house, belongings, going bankrupt

 

Studies have shown that all the things we worry about in life.

87% never happens

7% actually occurred

6% you will have very little influence over the outcome

This means that most things you worry about never happens and that you have little or no control over the few things that do happen. So it doesn’t pay to worry about the things you fear. Having said that, we are not sure to which percentage our fear belongs to, hence that knowledge is not of much help.

Fear is  a physical reaction to thinking about the consequences you don’t want.

“What do you fear ?”

“Public speaking” is one of the major fear. Even the best of speakers in the world today may have changed their pants just before their first speech.

To deal with the fear ask yourself

“Why do you fear speaking to an audience” ?

“What do you imagine when you think about public speaking”

“What is the worst thing you believe could happen”

“What would it mean to you if the worst thing did occur “ ?

99% answer is the fear associated with rejection with audience

Consequences of indulging in fear

1. Feeling paralysed and as a result not taking an action required to pursue our goals and dreams
2. Worrying about things that will most likely never happen
3. Not enjoying the present moment
4. living our lives in a box-taking refuge from life inside our comfort zone
5. Limiting the realization of our own potential
6. It is one of the driving emotions behind most of the conflicts

How to deal with fear

You can not eliminate fear but learn to deal with it.

1. In life whatever we resist, persists. Acknowledge  your fear. Go deep down and discover the source fear and ask:

What am I really frightened of

What is the worst that could happen? What would that mean?

What do I believe that is causing me to be fearful ?

1. Consider the likelihood

What is the probability of the thing I fear happening

1. Be present. Given that the object of fear only manifest in the future, the biggest antidote to overcoming fear is to be present in the now.
2. Change your breathing –The emotion of fear is accompanied by specific breathing . Change your breathing pattern. Close your eyes, touch your heart and breathe in slowly 10 times. Breathe into your heart
3. Change your focus from what you fear to something else that makes you happy.
4. Get all information- Sometimes fear can be a result of inaccurate and/or incomplete information and/or inaccurate interpretation. Ask yourself:

• What information do I need ?
• What else could this situation means ?

1. Get moving. To overcome any sense of immobility caused by fear ask yourself “what steps can I take now to get moving
2. Fear can be used to focus and do.
3. Never think about what you don’t want to happen, only think about what you want, regardless of the outcome of a situation.

Do you mind sharing your fear, if any ? How do you deal with it ?